Have you had your lunch today? I have. I'll add seconds. Good, greedy. 24th of February. Keep in mind that it isn't the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it's really your own opinion fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, but with time and distance.

Self-mastery is more easily achieved. Epictetus. There's, there's some great stuff in this. I'm going to repeat something there. take a swipe that harm, rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. Yeah. Okay. So this is great because somebody might say something to you that is quite upsetting or angers you or it frustrates you. But the real question I want to ask those salespeople is why?

Because if we're completely honest, the statement or the thing that someone says, if we said that to a hundred different salespeople, I bet you'd get a hundred different reactions. Yeah. Some it would kind of brush off them. Some would be really upset. Some would not even recognize that they were taking a swipe. Someone say they actually weren't. were, they were being positive. So I, I'll give you an example. I used to busk on the underground. You know, this went, when I was in a band and a guy walked past once.

And he just came up to me and old bloke and he just went, don't quit your day job. Right. I was, I was really mad. I was really mad. was like, cheeky bastard. Why would you go out of your way to go up to somebody singing, trying to make a living and be nasty? And I turned to one of the other lads and he went, this is your day job. went, yeah. He's saying, don't quit your day job. You're doing well. with it. Keep going with it.

That's not he meant. No, it's not what he meant. But interpretation is everything. And you know the philosophy about the fruit bowl? Tell me. I'll tell you. So you've got a fruit bowl in the middle of the room. You've got 10 different artists. OK. And they're all drawing the fruit bowl. But actually, you're going to get 10 different pictures. So some pictures you're going to see bananas, some pictures you're going to see apples. But actually, on the other side, the bananas are covering the apple. So there are no apples.

So it's the same mentality of salespeople. We might say they were being nasty to me, but actually know they were giving me constructive feedback. So somebody could come off a cold one. say, listen, it's not for me. Can I give you some feedback? I didn't like your open. I didn't like you can take that so personally, but actually it could also be a positive. So you've got to question what, is the attachment to that harm? Yeah, it's interesting. I was someone who decided to stop drinking alcohol.

Perhaps a problematic relationship that I had with it. And I did some therapy post stopping to try and find out what is the, what's the reason, like what's the trigger, what's the root cause of the problem. And what we came to obviously like a lot of talk therapy, you go back over your childhood and try and find what's the theme and what's the story that you picked up along the way. And one of the things that had come up was I didn't think anyone was interested in me as a child. So then I would drink alcohol in hopes that I'd be more outgoing and flamboyant so that you would find me more interesting. And I wouldn't be able to be, you know, you're not getting harmed. Then are you coming out as you most it's not true. Cause what was actually happening was I'd end up pissing on my head and being a pain in the ass. but I find that knowing now that story of that's a thing that triggers me that shows up and it's probably constructed my whole sales approach. I'm not someone who wants to get up and do like the product pitch and tell you like the big story around the product or the proposition.

Cause in my mind, if I looked out on the audience and I see that one person who looks slightly not interested, I'm honed in and I'm triggered. thinking, why are they not interested in me? Or if someone asks me something and they immediately look not interested. If I go and see family now and someone asks me how the business is going, my response is usually good. try to it a one, cause I don't want to get in that spot where I'm explaining it. I spot the eyes glaze over. It's like, it's like a painful spot to be in.

It's so self aware to notice what the triggers are, because we're very different. We've obviously got different triggers and something we've spoken about in the past is I don't like people being late. for me, feels like probably being promised as a child that someone will be there at a certain time and it's maybe not happened. And that's like the frustration and the upset that comes with that. So now when I see team members or something, I'm like, oh, that's triggering me. So I think...

It's, it's such a useful exercise to have a conversation with your inner child and say, what triggers me and why, why has that triggered me so much? Why do I feel so frustrated about what they've said? Because if I break it down and, and you've said it on previous episodes, but it's not personal, it's professional. Okay. I'm stepping into this role. have to do this job. Well, if people want to take swipes at me, I'm in my armor. I'm the sales guy.

You're not, you're not attacking me, my character, who I am personally. You're attacking the fact that I've cold called you to talk about PPI or whatever it is. Exactly. So my name's Shat Frimson and I'm Zach Thompson. Remember you will die. The hungry go doesn't get you.