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The Sales Stoic

January 13th - Mastering The Art Of Control

6 min

“We control our decisions and all actions that stem from our values and choices. What’s beyond our control are our bodies and their parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children, or country - anything we might associate with." - Epictetus

Stoic wisdom teaches us to focus on what we can control: our thoughts, actions, and choices. Epictetus reminds us we can't control external factors like our bodies, possessions, or even our family.

What we can control is our reasoned choices and moral will.

In sales, this means focusing on what you can control—your preparation, attitude, and approach.

You can't control if a prospect buys or how the market fluctuates, but you can perfect your pitch, nurture relationships, and stay consistent in follow-ups. Detach from outcomes and reduce stress. Stay grounded and resilient during unpredictable sales cycles.

Actionable tips:

  • Prepare thoroughly for each client interaction and focus on understanding their needs, rather than worrying about whether they will buy.
  • Judge success by how well you execute your plan, not by whether the sale closes. If you can detach from the outcome, you’ll also put a lot of stress to the side too.
  • Measure the quality of your outreach efforts, follow-ups, and communication, instead of fixating on external factors that are out of your control.

Remember you will die.

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Follow Jack & Zac: Jack: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jack-frimston-5010177b/ Zac: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zac-thompson-33a9a39b/

Connect with We Have a Meeting: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/we-have-a-meeting/ Website: https://www.wehaveameeting.com/

Disclaimer:

The Sales Stoic draws inspiration from the profound wisdom of Stoicism as presented in Ryan Holiday's "The Daily Stoic." As avid readers & fans, we deeply respect the work of Ryan Holiday, and acknowledge the significant impact of Stoic philosophy on our own approach to sales and life.

While The Sales Stoic applies the core principles of Stoicism to the unique challenges and opportunities faced by salespeople, it is an original work with its own distinct voice and focus. We aim to build upon the timeless wisdom of Stoicism to empower sales professionals with practical guidance and actionable insights for success in their careers and personal lives.

  • Zac Thompson

    Zac Thompson

    Co-Founder at We Have a Meeting

  • Jack Frimston

    Jack Frimston

    Co-Founder at We Have a Meeting

Lucky for some, unlucky for others. Zach Thompson, he's my brother's. It's the 13th of January. It's my favorite. We control our reasoned choice and all acts that depend on that moral will. What's not under our control are the body and any of its parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children or country. Anything with which we might associate hepatitis.

I'm going to share something with you. And I've been thinking about this recently and I've had a bit of a brainwave and I'd like to get your thoughts on it. But imagine a scenario, right? You're with the love of your life. Okay. You go, you're on holiday. You're in Greece. You're in stoic country. You're sitting down on this beautiful beach and you're having a meal. The menu comes. There's no prices on the menu and you order. I'm going to have the scallops to start.

I'm going to have the salt bait sea bass for my main. I'm going to have rich the custard jam roly poly for dessert. But all the way through you're eating it and your partner's going, my, this is the best scallop. you're going, but how much, how much is it going to cost? How much is it going to cut? and then you swallow it and then you go, the sea bass looks amazing, but whatever it's too expensive. Whatever. don't have enough money. And then the jam roly poly you're choking on it and you go,

Or what if there's a service charge? What we can't afford this? What if I have to ring my mum and borrow some money? And the bill comes out and they say, welcome to our country. It's free. But you already paid the bill with worry and stress and things outside of your control before the bill arrived. Really like that. So that's just something. But that is, that's a fable. That's a silly little story, but that is what...

life looks like for so many people. You get into bed at night, you lay down and you go, what if that deal doesn't come in? What if I don't call? What if I can't book a meeting tomorrow? What if I don't book a meeting for the next two weeks? I'll probably get sacked. What if X happens? What if Y happens? What if? But it's all out of your control. lot of those things, rather the input and the things that you can do, yes. But a lot of the time we stress about the things that are out of our control.

Dealfront (02:31.15) think there was a study done that said something like 95 % of the things that you worry about never happen. 95 % of the things you worry about never happen. That's ridiculous. that must mean you're spending most of your life worrying about things that just not only aren't going to happen, but never happen anyway. There's no chance of them ever happening. And how many times have you been sat in traffic and oh, I'm going to be so late now and then they're going to be mad at me. And you play out the whole narrative in your mind.

before you've even got there and the traffic only lasted for five minutes and you end up on time anyway. But you start, know, with that quarters old, the stress is there. You play out arguments because when he says that to me, I'm going to say this back and he's going to get mad. You go morning, Brian. Yeah. I didn't realize. what time is it? Ready for lunch. But so just to stack on that 95 % of things don't come true. And then I think it's also around 80 % of thoughts that you have on a daily basis are the same as the thoughts that you had previously. So

All we are sticking with the theme of circles is, 60 to 80 % of thoughts are negative. So you're just this never ending circle of things that probably won't come true day in, day out, that aren't helpful. We need to break those habits. Yeah. Yeah. Human existence can be made much better by trying to rid yourself of biases and thought processes as you go through.

The theme of one of the days that we talked about previously was, this useful? Is this true? You can say that with almost any story that you'd tell yourself. In the moment, can you catch yourself and say, is that actually useful? Me projecting myself into an imagined future, into an argument when I'm already got a bit of pressure on me, is that useful at this moment? this client's so hard. I can't make it work. Is that a useful thing to say? Or is it...

there's probably a way of making this work and it will help me with future clients. I'm going to really knuckle down and find out what that is. But, it's, I think it's fair to say as well. It is addictive and I don't know the science behind this, but those negative thoughts and those stories that you play out, there is some kind of like, I don't know if it's a dopamine, but there is some addictiveness to it, but like in terms of like, I'm getting something by playing out. But one of the questions I asked myself is what am I gaining from this? Well, I think what it is is the

Dealfront (04:53.208) The brain is wired to want to keep you safe, right? Above and beyond, it's there to try and keep you safe. We're creatures that survived in packs. We're not creatures that have like big teeth and claws and we're the scariest thing in the jungle. So what we had to develop was this very, very heightened appetite for risk or rather not appetite for risk. So what can happen is you can spend your whole existence.

with your brain trying to pump handbrake and everything. Yeah. maybe don't do that. Actually, I wouldn't do that. That's a bit of a risk. Maybe don't have that conversation. Maybe don't do that because there's rejection. It can be a whole existence that's led on your pumping the handbrake on yourself. And again, going back to that thing of, it useful? Is it true? What happens if I override that and do the total opposite? Yeah. And we spoke about this, but the best exercise is the control circle, isn't it?

So you draw a circle and, and yeah, let's talk about sales, but also there's probably bits outside of life that affect your career and your, your journey in sales, but put in that what is in your control. Other people's thoughts and feelings and the way they act that is absolutely out of your control. So list everything and bring it back down to earth of actually this isn't in my control right now. I'm going to, I'm going to forget about this. I'm going to move on because

What am I gaining from this? It's not useful and it's not true. Wow. I've been Jack Frimston. I've been Zach Thompson. Remember you will die. Please.

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