Feel like there's something between us and I'm not talking about the microphones. are you talking about? If there weren't these microphones, I think I'd bloody kiss you. Why? Because it's Valentine's Day, baby. my God, how romantic. It's the 14th of February and I've got something from Heraclitus for you. Ooh!

For to be wise is only one thing, to fix our attention on our intelligence which guides all things everywhere. Heraclisus. Wow. Powerful. I think that's the first appearance from Heraclisus as well on Valentine's Day. Yes. yeah. Great to have you. So there's been a lot of episodes about anger and there can be real... frustration when you work in sales where you receive nasty, not necessarily nasty, but like a response from a prospect or a client that's mad, that's mad about something, or they'll email something that maybe from their standpoint, like when you view it, it seems unreasonable. we've had that before with clients and I know that I'm like, right, well, I'm going going to, I'm going to

Ring him now and I'm going to shout at him or I'm going to say something. I'm going to call him unreasonable because it's not fair. Or I'm going to write a strongly worded email. I'm going to do something. But in those moments, it's so important to sleep on it because I would say 9.9 times out of 10, when you sleep on it and you come back to it the next day, you feel totally, totally different. We have Julian Treasure on our podcast, all the podcasts are available. And he said this great thing of what listening am I speaking into? if you've got this fire email sent across and you immediately respond with another fire email, you're just adding to the fire, aren't you? Whereas if they sent you a fire email, okay, that can wait till the morning. And then in the morning, instead you interrupt the pattern that's about to start and just pick up the phone and say, look, I've got your email.

and you just meet them. I can see exactly where you're coming from. probably feel like X, Y, and Z as well. If, this was happening, get there first. Well, you might find that, I was having a bad day and suddenly you've, you've disrupted the flow of things. Things are often lost on there as well in communication, communication. Yeah, exactly. And I think this is big on with, with, teams as well. So if you're having a particularly tough day,

You've had a rejection on the phone and then someone's made fun of you between the calls. That's going to bother you all day. Yeah. But the other person might not have thought anything of it. And they don't they're not even thinking about it. Exactly. So be aware. You are your own morale beacon, but you are each other's as well. Egos can be bruised. In those situations where you go to be what bruised. OK. What do you think is it? I think they're bruised. Oh, right. I you thought I said bruise like a cup of tea, but no, none of those. OK.

egos can be bruised and I always, I think it's a, Dale Carnegie book from, how to infant and infant people, it's what do I want to achieve from this? Okay. So I want to run in and I want to tell that client or that prospect straight because my ego feels kind of attacked. But actually what do I want to happen? Like, well, that probably in the long run, you want them to continue being a client or you want them to come on board and be a client and

all of those different things. So it's like, well, think, think about it. What do I want to gain from this situation? Yes. And you can be really the best business people and salespeople are the people that are calculated that will be like, okay, but I could, that is unfair. And they've said some nasty things and I could run in there and retaliate. But what do I want to be the outcome? Exactly. Well, I want the outcome to be X. So what's the best way to get there?

I think preemptive conversation is always a good advice here as well. if, I mean in my own life, sometimes instead of running into an argument with my wife about something, I might say, know what's weird? I'm telling myself a story at the minute that you're unhappy with me about this because of this. She's like, that's weird. Cause I'm telling myself the story that you're unhappy with me because of, and then somewhere between the two stories is the truth. But by saying it like that, I'm not running in.

guns blazing because I haven't got the full picture. There's my story, their story and the truth. And the truth. I would, as much as sometimes the chimp comes out, I would say nothing's ever gained from confrontation. No. So it's how do you hold onto your emotions? How do you act calmly and calculated and think about it? What do I want to happen? Well, I don't want to fall out, but

what I want with, I want my partner to listen to me. Okay, well, how do I communicate that effectively? I want that client to understand that it doesn't work like this. Okay, well, how do I communicate that effectively? So think about your communication style. We talk about it, but like use the phone, written word can be so, so difficult to analyze. So pick up the phone and truly listen. There's typically like a couple of different levels of listening, like what they're saying, but then you're thinking about what you're going to say next.

or two, or where you're kind of relating and you're kind of like, you're deeply listening. Level three is when you're listening to everything that's not being said. So their tone, the space, what they might mean. And that's where the good salespeople run in and say, well, it feels like I've upset you. It feels like X has frustrated you recently. It feels like Y has put you in a difficult position. Yeah.

I've been Jack Frimston. I've been Zack Thompson. Remember you will die. No ears on the tram.